If they dont let me take a fucking table soon I am going to lose it.I need a fuckin pack of cigarettes,for science’s sake. Its not so much to ask for.
Tomorrow will be a lonely,potless,cigaretteless,peopleless day. Filled with the world of warcraft,I am sure.
I miss Paul. God damnit.I’ve been thinking lately that I love him.I dont like to admit it,because he’s a complete womanizing asshole,but I suppose it is true.I think it is the Rhett-Scarlett comparison that my subconcious makes.Which would make Matthew Ashley.Which is true.Bastard.Sadly,Rhett Butler was never a total whore,which Paul was at one point and will always be,at heart.He really is.I think he says certain things because he knows me well enough to know that that is one of the few things that really pisses me off,mainly that fat and disgusting bitch,Amber.I can’t believe he brings himself to fuck her.That’s probably why he does her in the butt.Fucking vile bitch.Just because I was out of the picture for a while that dumbass went back to her {not any time recently, he claims,though I dont 100% believe it} fat lardy ass.If I ever see her on the street i’m going to punch her pupils into the back of her cranial cavity.Cunt.Any other girl of his that i’ve ever bitched out or about I could care less about now,except that gross whore.Mostly because I am way better than her in all things.I am smarter,thinner,prettier,better in bed,and i’m fucking somewhat articulate.Her myspace makes my grammar skills hurt just reading it.She probably can’t get to the keys very well though…all that lard in the way.I hate that stupid bitch,I hate her!
Oh, I will get her back.And him.In different ways.Haha.She will get it in a bad way,of course.An ass beating. Fucking bitch.I’ll get Holly tipsy and she’ll help.hahaha. Paul,on the other hand, I just want to myself. Damnit.
Too bad we started beating on each other or it might have worked out.It was mainly my fault,though.In a large way.I kind of feel bad for him,other than the whole “hey im a psycho with a coke/drinking problem and I dont like to be woken up or i get particularly nasty”thing.I did kind of brain wash him with sex and then did what I pleased with him.For a while.He isn’t as slimy and gross,anymore,either.He actually figured out that he shouldn’t take style tips from his 40 something year old italian father or bible thumping mother.I mean,the last time I saw him before he went totally cuckoo and went back to chicago, he looked like someone threw him out of a crack den for disorderly conduct.Hahaha.That was only a week or two after I ‘moved out’,shall we say.
Anyway.Enough talk about Paul.That only proves that my intial statement is true.And I am an idiot.But what can I say.We are too alike for it not to happen.I should introduce him to Chris,they are the same person, except Chris is smarter and has morals.And he’s not as in love with himself as Paul is.My god.Actually that would be bad.They might meld into one person and take over the world with narssiscism and their concieted will.Oh god.
